It Pays to be Southern

It seems as though not a New York minute goes by without someone asking you for something..

“Would you like to get married? I’ll cook for ya!” –Homeless guy in Union Square

“Will you swipe me in?” –Hippie with 3’ dreads in the subway station, where my card was empty and I was at the wrong station.

“Can you spare some change?” –Every other person you see

“Excuse me, do you live in New York?” –The same guy on the same corner at the same time, asks me every. Single. Day.

“Do you have a business card?” – Guy on the train who is a celebrity bodyguard. Don’t fall for this. He is NOT interested in being your “business contact”. He is more interested in being your “business” contact.

Daily, without fail, I am asked for something else that I am actually willing to give: my southern hospitality.

Many New Yorkers long for this breath of fresh air. They are actually surprised when I answer their questions, or say “pardon me” or “thank you” or even something as simple as smile at them. You see, these are not things that the typical New Yorker would ever do to a complete stranger. You’re more likely to get flipped the bird rather than a friendly wave. It is not because they are mean or rude (for the most part), it is because they are in a hurry, and you, my friend (the tourist) are in their way. They are late for their train, they’ve already been asked 15 questions, and they haven’t even had their second cup of coffee.

This southern warmth I’m speaking of often spawns another series of questions…

"You’re not from around here, are you?"

"Where is that accent from?"

"Are you from Texas?"

Because that warmth is so refreshing, even appreciated, I have found that it often lands me opportunities many New Yorkers may never have. For instance… the day before my birthday, I got a free cookie at the pizza pie joint (thought I’d throw in a little NY slang for you) in Grand Central Terminal, because I mentioned to the guy that my birthday was coming up.

Last week, I got free wireless internet. The cable guy came to install when I was moving in, which technically he isn’t allowed to do because we didn’t have our TV yet. (He installed anyway. Obviously because I'm a southerner.) He also did not come with a wireless router on his work order, which would be an extra $50 charge plus $6/month on top of our astronomical cable bill. But for me (sweet southern belle that I am), he would install the router for $50 cash and we would never see it on our bill. I mustered up the sweetest smile I could, emphasized my KY twang, and mentioned that, “Oh my goodness, that would be so great! But,” (frown face, pouty lip…), “I only have $16 cash and some Easter candy…” I left it at that, hoping he would install it anyway. Well, he did. And I sent him on his way with a huge “thanks SO MUCH!!”, $16, and a baggie of mini Reese’s Eggs.

I believe that a big smile and a little hospitality never hurt anybody. But please tell my grandma that if anyone does try to take advantage of it, I’ll be sure to have my pink pepper spray handy.

The question I’m asking now: “way-yer will this ak-seynt will git me next?”

P.S. I purchased a mirrored dresser, side table, and headboard for $195. They need a little doctoring-up, but after some love will probably totaly closer to $350. Anyway... If I bought the extact same look from Pottery Barn, I would've spent closer to $2,000. This partially had to do with my southern-ness. Pictures to come.